Through the Valgrind

Fortune Cookies

Mon, 14 Jul 2008 04:52:48 GMT

Here are some of the various fortunes I've collected over the past year:

1. Good things come in invisible packages. You will be delighted.

2. Do not let others take advantage of you.

3. Your sly nature will get you out of a tight spot.

4. The time is right to make new friends.

5. You will be traveling to distant lands for business purposes.

6. The quickest way to lose a friend is to lend him money. Be cautious.

7. You are headed in the right direction. Trust your instincts.

8. You soon will be involved in a social activity.

9. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

10. You have a basic need for solitude some of the time.

11. Taking a chance at something new in the near future will pay off.

12. You will soon have an opportunity to advance your career.

13. You have so much to be thankful for.

14. You possess a rare beauty. Use it to your advantage.

15. Your mind is always active and gathering information from many sources.

GURGLE

Wed, 23 Apr 2008 04:35:03 GMT

OH MY GOD HOUSE IS ON FOR FOUR HOURS ON MONDAY!!!!

I am going to seriously regret watching them on Tuesday morning while I learn about double integrals in 3D space. Oh joy. BUT THERE IS HOUSE.

The best part is that House has to "tell" Wilson something, and we all know what that is. I, regrettably, was so excited about this "telling" that I TOLD MY ROOMMATE that House is obviously going to tell Wilson he's in love with him and make everyone's day.

Whoops.

That was more than she EVER needed to know about ANYTHING! Schrist.

Also, after devoting roughly 27 hours to the EPIC Star Wars movies during the last three weekends, I have come to two conclusions:
1. I FUCKING LOVE EWAN MCGREGOR
2. Hayden Christensen is also pretty hot in ROTS, and thus great hotness ensues and results in much fan-girlish fanning, because OH MY GOD IT IS SO THERE!

Thu, 13 Mar 2008 04:01:51 GMT

ARG! So, I should be able to go home tomorrow because I am skipping FYS/don't have Bio/I never go to calc lab on Friday. Right? HOW WRONG I WAS. I came back from my atrocious calc test regarding sequences and series to find this horrible email stating: "On class on Thursday, you'll find out if you MUST attend lab on Friday". I interpret this to mean "If you sucked ass on the test you can attempt to save your sorry ass by doing eighty bajillion problems during lab for 'extra credit'". Now I have several reasons to think that I will be attending this unfortunate lab day, despite my amazing math genius:

-- I completely forgot that sequences were even on the test, thus no studying them

-- Speaking of studying, I didn't. Well only for 45 minutes, because I had a huge paper due the same day

-- I can't find the sum of a series. I never have, I'm pretty sure I never will, regardless of if the series is infinite or finite. Unless it is e^x, because I know what that series/expansion looks like

-- The test totally didn't have the hard series' and such, rendering my knowledge and understanding of all things incredibly useless, well, useless

-- There was a massive amount of simple series, that I FAIL at

-- Despite the fact that there was extra credit ("If you could have any vehicle, what would it be?" I was sorely tempted to say "canoe" but I figured that I should put something with an engine, because if there is a way to fuck up that question, I'd find it), and that I'm 99% sure I solved the MacLauren Series correctly, there is no way that will make up for the infinite amount of points I surely lost.

Thus I am very sad. I was supposed to go home tomorrow, and most likely, I won't. No tranny fierceness for me.

Need Wilson huggles, now.

Sun, 03 Feb 2008 21:33:04 GMT

Ron Paul is one creepy motherfucker. When we had to watch the Republican debate on Wed. last week, all I could think about was that Ron Paul reminded me of this guy, not the really cool part, the creepy, absurd part:

The Worst Week Ever...

Tue, 29 Jan 2008 04:16:49 GMT

So this week has quite possibly been the suckiest week ever. And then Heath Ledger died. Major angst. I am only just now recovered from it enough to talk about it. So the

1. Monday. Was supposed to go to Democratic debate at the other campus' library for FYS. At 8:00. Didn't happen. Watched it with roommate and was utterly bored. Honestly, it only had Hilary, Barack, and Edwards. V. Boring. And I'm a democrat.

2. Monday night. Spent 3 hours (before, during, and AFTER the goddamn debate) on two math problems. TWO.

3. Tuesday. Heath Ledger. Number 1 on The List as of last week when I watched A Knight's Tale. Heath Ledger was my first true celebrity love. My dad brought home The Patriot when I was eleven for a family movie; my mom was conveniently not there that night for some reason -- she was hellaciously pissed when she found out. So, watching the movie, I was all "yawn this is so -- WHO THE HELL IS THAT?!?!?!?!? He is *so* gorgeous!!!! Must suffer through atrocious Mel Gibson for lovely person that is Heath Ledger". Thus began my first and longest love affair with any celebrity ever. And now it is over. Now that he is dead. Forever. I didn't believe it for real until Thursday when I read about it in The Times.

4. The "0" key on my keyboard is broken and flips up and shit and won't type unless I make a concentrated effort to push absurdly hard on it.

5. Wednesday's Bio Lab. Not that this really compares to Heath, but it still was one of the worst moments of my academic life ever. Honestly, how hard is it to use Microsoft 2007? My group took forever. And THEN we had to plant "Fast Plants" which was utterly useless. And I found out today that NO ONE CHECKED ON THE GODDAMN PLANTS OVER THE WEEKEND which was utterly important, because we are simulating herbivory by cutting off the half of the first two leaves that appear on the plant as soon as they come up. And most of the plants had two day leaf growth by the time I checked on them today. ARG!

6. Also, spent another three hours on two math problems again.

7. Thursday's Chem Lab. So, we had to do this horrible "learn about how dyes have certain spectra and how this is how we figure out everything ever known about chemistry EVER and design an experiment using candy -- which you're not allowed to eat -- and run the results through the spectrometer". So, after my teacher lectured for an HOUR before we could start the lab, we signed up for slots to use the spectrometer. My group was 3rd. When we got to the part where we were able to use the spectrometer, I look at who is on the machine and see the group of utter imbeciles who sit at my motherfucking table during the lecture. Completely incompetent. AND they were 5th. So, everyone skipped my group in order to get ahead. HELLA PISSED!! So we continued on without the spectometer, and FINISHED our designed experiment at 3:00 or so. All we had to do was use the fucking spectrometer. What time did we get on, you ask? FOUR FUCKING FORTY!!!!!! And how long was that other moronic group on for? An HOUR AND A HALF!!! HONESTLY!!! So, we finally get on the spectrometer and have no idea what to do, because we never got to use it earlier, so we kind of killed the computer program, but that was easily fixed. We had to run about ten vials through the machine and we were just starting the blank run and some girl had the audacity to ask us when we're going to be done, "because, like, we haven't done the second part yet". I was going to strangle her. How long did we take on the spectrometer? Twenty minutes. TWENTY MINUTES! It wasn't that HARD! Jesus. I hate motherfucking chemistry and these irritating cuntwaffles at my school.

8. Spent another four hours on two math problems. Again.

9. Went home Friday, and spent four hours on more math. Eight problems this time.

Good news:
- Got some excellent dresses from Express for what should have been $250 for $33. All are v.cute.
- Understood math homework.
- Still am a math major despite the total of 14 hours of math in one week.
- Watched Ten Things I Hate About You for the first time and found that I love Heath Ledger with dark hair, though I died a little inside watching it.

Today, Martin (FYS teacher) was going over the grounds for annulment (again), and since I was sitting closest to the front he picked me to use as an example: he went over to me, pretending he had a gun to my head and was all "I'll KILL you if you don't marry my son!" Which was funny for several reasons:
1. I am NEVER getting married. metalspork13 and I cannot get married in the US, unfortunately. If we could, I would reconsider.
2. I'm not Catholic, anymore, so why would I care about annulments?
3. Martin is gay, and does not - will not ever - have any children.
Good times.

The sun will set for you

Wed, 12 Dec 2007 00:33:36 GMT

There is something sexy about men with two last names. Anderson Cooper is my new favorite man; he is absolutely fabulous, and the only way I can make it through all the Republican debates I have to watch for FYS. So pretty. And the candidates are SO stupid, always ignoring his firm "Senator, TIME!!!" and keep talking about stuff that no one cares about. You hear that Mitt Romney? No. One. Cares. You might be reminiscent of George Clooney, but that doesn't mean that you are in any way a decent person for president. Just because you are really good looking doesn't mean you are intelligent, honestly, people.

So, I decided to see how much I've learned this semester, and this is what I came up with: I really don't understand chemistry. That is it. Oh, also finding my undying passion for dead poets, but that doesn't really count, seeing as they're dead.

So chilly. We've had negative wind chills for the last two and a half weeks. V. unpleasant.

Real people LIST update: Adam Pascal, Harry Lloyd, Anderson Cooper, Brad Pitt--

And now This. All those damn PETA people trying to get me to stop eating meat. Honestly.

O presents

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 05:36:57 GMT

Christams list

Will Scarlett is my bitch. Oh yeah.

Thu, 08 Nov 2007 05:13:18 GMT

Right, well, the BBC series Robin Hood completes my soul. Totally. There's like two women and hordes of men in it which is an automatic plus... so many ways to slash... Alas, that my OTP is ruined by the second season episode five, which I unknowingly stumbled upon spoilers for in my rabid quest for ficage. WHY MUST THEY RUIN THIS FOR ME?!?!?!? Why can't I have a pairing that actually *exists* for once? I mean really.

So I'm supposed to be working on a paper for FYS entitled "Why I want to be a monk", which is ironic, because I think that is the last thing on the list, preceded by pedophile, sociopath, and elementary school teacher. I find it really funny that I'm listening to Metallica at the same time...

Roommate got a fish! We have a blue betta now, Bond. I'm going to get a clown fish sometime, I think, if it is worth the effort. My fish will be named James. And not because of James Bond. That would be lame. James Potter, totally.